Breastfeeding

One would think since I have been breastfeeding for almost 3 years straight that I wouldn’t feel the need to read up on it looking for more tips and tricks, however that’s not the way I operate. I research everything to death.

Last week I read two breastfeeding books cover-to-cover (as my newborn napped on my chest) and I have to recommend one of them.

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (La Leche League International Book)

This book validates every thought I have about nursing, and truly supports my natural instincts as a mother. This is in sharp contrast to many books on the market that muddle our minds with rules, schedules to follow, “the right way” to do things, etc. which only make most of us feel inadequate in our mothering skills.

If I had to choose one book about breastfeeding to recommend to a new mom, or a mom who has years of experience breastfeeding, this book is it.

Birth Poem

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

-William Wordsworth

How to Have a Natural Childbirth in a Hospital

Lots of women embark upon a more natural lifestyle when they become pregnant. There is something so magical about creating life and knowing that there is only one “you” who can do this amazing work and who is totally responsible for this new little person.
Pregnancy causes many women to desire a healthier lifestyle and ponder many things for the first time, such as eating organic food, using non-toxic cleaning materials, and choosing natural materials for the nursery.
This usually leads to exploring natural childbirth, the use of a midwife and/or doula, exclusive breastfeeding, questioning whether to circumcise a baby boy or not,  and the list goes on… the further you dig the more you realize there are many many more things to consider!
Often times, while researching all of these things, women come across books such as Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care and DVDs like The Business of Being Born, and the next question that arises is where to give birth.  In a hospital, birthing center or at home?
I read and researched and watched DVD’s galore and settled on giving birth to my first child in a birthing center that was in a hospital. It was one floor below the labor and delivery floor, and I felt comfortable knowing that medical intervention would not be forced on me but would be readily available if needed.

Alas, my ob didn’t deliver there so I was faced with switching docs or trusting her when she said I could have as natural a childbirth as I’d like to have, just in the hospital.

Once I read all of the things hospitals routinely do, I was armed with a list of things I wanted done differently.

Here is a list of some of the things I did, thought about and decided on before I went into labor which helped me to have two natural childbirths in hospitals:

1. Take a childbirth class taught by a midwife or doula and fully supports unmedicated births and offers natural pain coping techniques.

2.  Stay home as long as possible while in labor.  I took this a little far with my first child, as I was so nervous about getting to the hospital too soon and having them “mess with me” that I walked to my doctor’s office instead so she could examine me and see how far along I was.  She took one look and said, “get to the hospital! You’re dilated to 6 centimeters and you’ll be having this baby soon!”
3. Tell anyone you came into contact with at the hospital your desire to have a natural childbirth. If in any way you feel your nurse is not in line with your wishes, ask for a different nurse!
4.  I asked my nurse to do intermittent instead of continuous electronic fetal monitoring. I wanted to hear his heartbeat and feel reassured that he was ok, but I also wanted to be able to walk around, get in and out of the shower, etc.
5. Most hospitals put an IV in a laboring mother pretty soon after you arrive at the hospital. I asked for a “hep lock” instead- so that a vein would be opened in the rare event I needed a blood transfusion, but I wasn’t planning on having anything else going into my body, so I really didn’t want to be saddled with an IV because I wanted to walk the halls of the hospital.
6. I asked my doctor to wait to cut the umbilical cord until after it stopped pulsing. A baby is born with 2/3rds of it’s blood in its body and the rest still in the placenta to make for a smaller package thus an easier trip through the birth canal. If the doctor lets the cord stop pulsing, the rest of the baby’s blood will be transferred back into him.

7. Delay any routine procedures such as weighing, measuring, etc until after you’ve had a chance to bond with your newborn and attempt to breastfeed. There is an amazing period of quiet alertness right after birth where your infant will stare into your eyes and study your face and listen to your voice.

8. Take your own natural and organic baby products to be used on the baby for baby’s first bath, or better yet, skip the bath altogether! Babies aren’t born dirty, and skipping the bath helps them retain their body heat. It also leaves the scent of amniotic fluid on their hands and this is comforting and calming to have access to a familiar smell in this new and crazy world.

What have I missed?

Forty Days

I gave birth less than two weeks ago and I’ve already had a few people ask me if I’ve been able to get out much.

Not at all, I reply, and I’m planning on staying home for 40 days.

Most people are surprised by this and no one thinks I will make it the full forty days without getting cabin fever. In our culture, it is not at all unusual to see a 2 week old baby at Target or out at a restaurant.  I was sitting at the Social Security Office last year (with the rest of the city) and saw a 5 day old baby!

I think the reason lies somewhere between the desire to show off our new babies, prove how strong we are as women (able to give birth one day, and then “up and at ’em” the next!), and just plain wanting to get out of the house to do something other than nursing, burping, changing, sleeping, washing, etc.

When we had our first child, the pediatrician told us to wait 6 weeks before taking him anywhere with lots of people.  Well, in New York City that means everywhere.  So we would take him out only for short walks or to get fresh air on the roof deck, but he was 6 weeks old before his first major outing:  breakfast at Whole Foods and a picnic in Central Park with friends.

baby's first outing

Forty days has spiritual significance in many faiths, so it makes sense that in holistic parenting books I’ve come across the recommendation of staying home for forty days after the birth of a child. Given that it takes about 40 days to create a habit or change a lifestyle, this is a good time period to adjust to mothering this new creation, and honoring him or her as a spiritual as well as physical being.  It also gives the child a feeling of security in a loving, comfortable and peaceful environment.

Most postnatal appointments are scheduled for 6 weeks (about 40 days!) after the baby is born since that’s typically the amount of time it takes mom to heal from all of the physical changes associated with child birth.

So based on our pediatrician’s advice, the postnatal healing period, and the spiritual significance of forty days, I have chosen this path.

I plan on taking this time to bond with my baby, rest, reflect on what has happened, rejuvenate, and heal.  These precious days after birth are magical and pass so quickly.  I will spend every moment I can sitting in awe and simply enjoying the incredible blessing that has entered my life.

Labor and Childbirth

A few weeks ago I came across some really convincing anecdotal evidence that drinking a strong infusion of raspberry leaf tea during active labor will help with the entire process of labor and childbirth.  It supposedly decreases pain, making contractions less intense yet more productive.

I’ve been drinking a cup of the raspberry tea every morning for the duration of my pregnancy, yet this seemingly miracle protocol calls for an ounce of loose leaf tea.  So I found a great herb store and bought some a few weeks ago  to have on hand for the big moment.

This past Sunday morning was Father’s Day, and my baby’s actual due date.  My two year old and I slept in until about 9:00am.   I had been waking up every morning for the past week or so feeling some contractions, but they would always go away once I got moving.  This morning I felt them too, but I also felt like this might be the last morning I’d have with only one child sleeping soundly next to me and I wanted to enjoy the moments as they passed.

Four days prior to this peaceful morning,  I’d had quite a discouraging doctor’s appointment.  After weeks of being head down in position in my pelvis, my ob told me my baby had moved “back up,” and she couldn’t even feel my cervix to tell me if it had effaced or dilated at all.  She thought he was laying sideways now because she thought she felt the top of his head (which she said was big- all great things to say to a woman who hopes to deliver without any pain medication!)  She also told me she expected me to have a 9 or 10 pound baby, because I had gained 40 pounds and wanted to talk c-section if I went past my due date.  Let’s just say I was less than thrilled when I left that appointment.

I did what I always do when faced with something I have questions about, and went home and researched, researched, researched.  I found a great website about turning babies into optimal birthing position called Spinning Babies and followed any and all advice I found.  I also discovered a website called The Unnecesarean which contains lots of great information and birth stories about OB’s recommending c-sections because of big babies and then women going on to deliver vaginally with no problems.

As I always say, I know these medical interventions save many women and babies’ lives, but I like to be armed with as much information as possible before going into any situation.

I then spent the next three days walking, bouncing on the birthing ball, cleaning on all fours, doing pelvic tilts, squats, cat/camel poses and tail wags.  I was a woman on a mission.

So, back to that beautiful Sunday morning…while I lay there reveling in the peace and quiet, I felt some strange things happening inside.  I really think I felt the baby flip.  My first clue was the crazy shapes and pushes and pulls I was seeing and feeling, and then I felt hiccups up at the top of my uterus.

When we finally got out of bed, and walked into the family room, I realized these contractions were more intense than they had been thus far.  My mom immediately sensed something was up, and asked me if I was ok, saying I was moving a lot slower this morning.  I said I was fine, just waiting for these contractions to go away.

They didn’t.

I made myself a cup of red raspberry leaf tea, and then tried to do as much as possible to get my mind off of what might be happening.  We were all trying to time my contractions, but I kept forgetting to tell my husband when I was having another one, and then I kept forgetting what time the last one started and stopped.

My husband put the hospital bag in the car, but I was still not convinced we needed to do that.  We were getting ready to go to brunch for Father’s Day, and since the restaurant is closer to the hospital than where we live, I thought that was safe…I could walk around the restaurant grounds during contractions if I needed to.

I got out the bag of loose red raspberry leaf tea so my husband could make if for me if indeed I was going to need it that day.  When I did that, my parents asked about it, so I pulled up my post that described all of those “too good to be true” birth stories from women who had followed the directions about drinking it during active labor and read it to them.

Finally, around 11:15AM  my dad started timing my contractions and writing them down.  After about 45 minutes, we realized they were 3 minutes apart and lasting between 45 seconds and a minute.  At that point, I realized maybe something was going on.  My dad and husband quickly opened father’s day gifts, pausing for my dad to time and write down my contractions and my husband to let me hang on him while he massaged pressure points in my hips.  I then got my two year old dressed, and we put him in my parents car so they could head to brunch.

We paged my doctor and waited about 30 minutes for a call back, but one never came.  I really didn’t think they’d tell me to head to the hospital, since I could talk through all of my contractions and I know that is one of the things they use to determine if it’s go-time or not: if the mother can speak during the peak.

I finally decided we should just go.  I figured I could always do laps around the hospital parking lot if I wasn’t far enough along to be admitted.  But first, I had my husband prepare my red raspberry leaf tea!  It was crazy looking and smelling, and I was supposed to drink it as hot as possible.  It was 106 degrees outside, so I wasn’t really looking forward to it, but I really wanted to test it.  I drank as much as I could before we got to the hospital because I thought they wouldn’t let me have any once they admitted me.

I wasn’t impressed AT ALL with the taste of it, and I was a bit concerned it would make me throw up.  As we were walking down the ramp into the hospital my husband drank some to “feel my pain.”  He said, “It pretty much tastes like spinach mixed with clippings from freshly mowed lawn with a little pot thrown in.”

tea for labor

He was right.  So as we got to the reception desk on the labor and delivery floor, he asked them to pour out what was left.  I drank quite a bit of it, but I had reached my limit.

I was still unconvinced the hospital would even admit me, because I felt so much different/better than I had with my first baby and really thought when they examined me I wouldn’t even be dilated.

The admitting nurse asked me my pain level on a scale of 1-10, 10 being totally unbearable.  First of all, I really don’t like to call it pain because of the power of suggestion within my mind.  A friend of mine gave me this tip when she was encouraging me that I could have a natural childbirth with my first, and I really appreciate her for that.  She preferred to use the word “intense.”  That makes so much sense, because it really is different than any other type of pain.  It is intense for a minute, then it TOTALLY goes away and you feel completely normal.

I told the nurse I was maybe at a level four, but that seemed high,  maybe more like a three.  She then examined me and said very calmly, “You are dilated 6-7 centimeters, 80% effaced and the baby is at a +2.”

I was in shock.  I then asked her what position my baby was in, and she said his back was on my left side and he was facing right- which is the optimal birthing position- his back had been on my right and he was facing left for the past 6 weeks at least, so I was right- he had flipped that morning!  CRAZY.

Anyway, we got to the hospital at around 1:00PM, and when the nurse admitted me and had finished my paperwork an hour and a half later she asked me about my pain level again.  This time I said, it’s gone down- maybe now it’s a three or two?  I was worried that by laying there waiting for her to finish everything I had stalled labor and maybe I was closing back up (is this even possible?  I have no idea, but I was just so ready for some major pain (intensity) to kick in, that I was convinced something of the sort was happening.)

She then checked me again and I was dilated to 9 centimeters.  No, labor hadn’t stalled.  During each subsequent contraction I would focus on the empty mug on the shelf in front of me and wish I hadn’t thrown the rest of my tea away.

Thirty minutes later I stood up on the side of the bed and hung on my husband during each contraction, then sat down to conseve my energy in between.  I also got my cell phone and texted my sister to tell her I was “at a 9.”  See what I mean about feeling completely normal during the breaks?  Our bodies are wonderfully and fearfully made and this is one more area I see our amazing design.  It might be unbearable if we had one constant contraction for hours, but instead, we have this one minute of intensity, and then 3 or 4 minutes of feeling fine.

I also learned about the positive pain feedback loop our bodies cycle through during labor, where the more pain is felt, more natural pain relieving endorphins are released.  How incredible is that?

So two and a half hours after I got to the hospital I felt the urge to push, and was completely dilated.  Our baby boy was born 21 minutes later.

It was a spectacular second natural child birth.

If it is your desire to have a natural childbirth, let me encourage you.  Prepare your body as much as you can, take a childbirth class, learn coping techniques, walk, walk walk.  Don’t let negative experiences from other moms deter you and don’t focus on negative things your doctor might say.  Inform yourself about all scenarios as much as possible.  More than anything, trust your instincts.

All that being said, don’t put too much pressure on yourself.  There is no need to be a martyr- afterall 75% of babies born in this country are born to moms who received epidural analgesia.  It has helped many women who have gone for hours trying to do it naturally get just the amount of relief they need to deliver their babies.   A healthy baby is ALL that matters.   I tell my story to remind you that it can be done and to try it if it’s something you’re interested in.

When my parent walked in to see their new grandson for the first time and asked me how it went, I said, “Great!”

My dad asked, “Do you think it was the tea?”

I definitely think it helped.