My sweet baby boy
Just fell asleep on my lap
The dishes can wait
Jelly Beans
My four year old has the best logic. “Hey mom- did you know that jelly beans are good for you, because they are jelly on top of a bean. So it’s good for you to eat.”
Aaah, sweetness. If only that were the case. I love the idea of jelly beans as a food group. In fact, I remember getting through many a doctor’s appointment as a child with the promise of pectin jelly beans from the local Hallmark store when it was over.
As for those who say never reward/bribe children with food, I don’t agree. My child was completely out of diapers -even nighttime ones- by his 2nd birthday, and I have the promise of “3 chocolate chips” to thank for that.
But back to the beans.
Fall is here and beans are abundant in many autumn recipes. They make a great base for soups, are the star of chili, and are the perfect finger food for toddlers. Canned beans are very convenient, since soaking and cooking dried beans takes time and planning. But the BPA that lines cans is not worth the convenience.
According to studies, even at very low doses, BPA is linked to breast cancer, early onset of puberty, obesity, hyperactivity, lowered sperm count, miscarriage, diabetes, and altered immune system. Makes me want to soak my beans.
The good news:
There are some great alternatives that are still just as convenient!
- Beans in Tetra Paks- I’ve used both the Fig Food kind and Whole Foods‘ 365 brand. (please note: I’m not convinced any food or drink in a box is completely safe, as something has to be applied to make them leak proof.)
- Eden Organics– they use no BPA in their bean packaging, and use glass for acidic foods that leach more toxins from their containers
- Beans in glass jars- the best option
Now that I think about it, maybe my 4 year old is right. Jelly beans- no canning required- might be the healthiest beans of all.
My Life Is Straight Out of Mary Poppins
Or at least the delusional Mr. Banks’ song:
“It’s 6:03, and the heirs to my dominion are scrubbed and tubbed, and adequately fed. And so I’ll pat them on the head, and send them off to bed. Ah, lordly is the life I lead!”
Oh wait- that’s not how my evenings go at all. Do anyone’s?
Actually I’m well aware that some households’ evenings might. But since we practice Attachment Parenting, there is no such thing as just “putting the kids to bed”- in the very early years anyway.
This is on my mind because of a conversation I had with a friend who has an 11 month old and is in the throes of the “what was I thinking, maybe I should have done things differently but now it’s too late, why can’t I just put my child in bed and hire a sitter to come and hang out while my husband and I go to dinner, I can’t buy a crib now that my baby is 11 months old” self talk.
In our experience these sleepless nights and other temporary issues have paid off with our four year old. By 6:30PM he is in bed asleep and usually sleeps a solid, uninterrupted 12 hours.
My 15 month old is not there yet. This child does everything he can to stay awake at all hours of the day and night. I know had I implemented a cry-it-out, self soothing, or sleep association routine he would have no choice but to nap at naptime, and sleep when I put him in his (non-existent) crib.
His tenacity and love for experiencing everything life has to offer keeps him clinging to the day like no child I have seen. If he gets the slightest whiff that we might want him to sleep, he’ll search for the nearest toothpicks to prop his eyelids open. (Not really, but if he knew he had that option I bet he would try.)
I could attempt reverse psychology Mary Poppins’ lullaby style, however he would take it literally and be thrilled.
“Stay awake, don’t rest your head
Don’t lie down upon your bed
While the moon drifts in the skies
Stay awake, don’t close your eyes
Though the world is fast asleep
Though your pillow’s soft and deep
You’re not sleepy as you seem
Stay awake, don’t nod and dream
Stay awake, don’t nod and dream”
Thankfully once he’s asleep he sleeps soundly all night. At that point though, he’s worn me out entirely.
But even though I might complain about being tired, or rattle off that I have not had a full night’s sleep in 4 years, one month and 8 days, I wouldn’t change one thing about our nighttime parenting. Especially now that my 4 year old has no baby left in him and I can look back and see how fast that period of his life came and went.
I believe it is worth it. The time flies by. That baby turns into a 4 year old overnight, and for some reason, that night feels like one you slept through because it was over so fast.
SO, if you’re in the middle of sleepless nights and long days because of your co-sleeping, possibly-still-night-nursing baby or toddler, take heart.
It won’t be like this for long.
Or in the words of my favorite chimney sweep “childhood slips like sand through a sieve… And all too soon they’ve up and grown, and then they’ve flown… And it’s too late for you to give – just that spoonful of sugar to ‘elp the medicine go down.”
How To Really Love a Child by SARK
I have always loved SARK, and first read this poem before I had children of my own.
As I read it again with new perspective, I am reminded to simplify, simplify, simplify. So often I tell myself I need to let my children be children and remember how small they are.
My whole family would benefit if I could let myself act like a child every once in a while…
Planting Seeds
On this first day of fall, my family spent the morning planting seeds in a community garden.
Multiple times a month I receive “Ask Holly” queries asking how to get children to eat (and enjoy) vegetables. In our experience, when children are an active part in the preparation of a meal, they are much more likely to eat it.
Even more excitement arises when they participate in growing the food. Today’s time sowing seeds at the garden was exactly as I had pictured it.
I loved hearing my son’s questions about how the seeds turn into plants and watching the delight in his eyes as he glimpsed a roly-poly. I loved explaining to him that plants need sunlight, just like we do, to thrive. Out in the crisp fall air I remembered a beautiful poem I read this week which ends,
“…today you get a telegram
from the heart in exile,
proclaiming that the kingdom
still exists,
the king and queen alive,
still speaking to their children,
—to any one among them
who can find the time
to sit out in the sun and listen.”
A thought occurred to my 4 year old this morning as we were on our way to the garden- “hey mom, do my bones get bigger inside my body and that’s what makes me grow?” Yes, that’s part of it. “Well how do my bones get bigger?” I explained to him that his cells use fuel—interrupted with, “hey, just like a car uses fuel!”—Yes, sweetie, just like a car uses fuel, our body needs fuel to grow. And in the same way a car’s fuel is gasoline, our fuel is good food and water—interrupted with, “my fuel is chocolate milk!” — …one can see how these sweet conversations fuel my spirit throughout the day.
If given the option, my two wild and amazing boys would literally jump off the furniture the entire time we are indoors, yet magic happens the minute we step outside. There is a stillness and peace that overcomes them as if to prove the point that out there is where they belong. As Richard Louv claims in his book Last Child in the Woods
My hope is that taking part in a community garden will give us nourishment not only from the food we grow, but also our time in nature and other like-minded people. The American Community Gardening Association asserts that “community gardening improves people’s quality of life by providing a catalyst for neighborhood and community development, stimulating social interaction, encouraging self-reliance, beautifying neighborhoods, producing nutritious food, reducing family food budgets, conserving resources and creating opportunities for recreation, exercise, therapy and education.” To find a community garden near you, visit the Local Harvest website.
And since my brain is 70% song lyrics, I couldn’t possibly have all of this seed sowing talk and not quote A Tears For Fears song that says it all:
“Anything is possible when you’re sowing the seeds of love.”